A Lesson in Life and Kid-Friendly Shampoo

What We Learned From Kid-Friendly Shampoo

As many of you know, much of my entertainment comes from watching my wife interact with me, my kids and the world around her. Such was the case with a recent kid-friendly shampoo dilemma that hit our home. How could kid-friendly shampoo possibly be humorous and what does it have to do with consumer savvyness? Read on and find out…

A Smart Woman

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – my wife is a smart woman. Too smart sometimes. Her high IQ leads her to believe that the rest of the world should think and act according to her ideals – including our 8-year-old son. Little did she know, this tendency was going to result a war between her and kid-friendly shampoo and a lesson she’d never forget.

The Situation

First, let me set the scene. I was sitting in the family room with my son when my wife walks in and says it’s bath time (for my son, not me). Now, my son is at the age where modesty is coming into play – he needs to bathe himself. No one, and I mean NO ONE is allowed in the bathroom while he’s in the tub.

So, my wife says “make sure you wash your hair with shampoo” and my son says “yes mom” and all is well. Until my son gets out of the bath. My wife does something odd – which isn’t necessarily unusual for her. She sniffs his hair. I guess she doesn’t smell what she’s looking for because she goes on to tell my son that he indeed did not wash with shampoo. And he knows he’s been had…

Turns out the problem isn’t my son’s ability to listen, it’s my wife’s ability to pick out the right kid-friendly shampoo.

It Burns

If you’re a mom (or have ever had one), you know the next question out of my wife’s mouth was “why didn’t you wash with shampoo?” This is when our 8-year-old begins to tell her it burns his eyes. She stomps upstairs, reads the bottle, accusingly shows me the “no tears” wording on it (as if it’s somehow my fault the bottle lied to her) and throws on her shoes to head to the store.

Sit Down, This is Going to Take a While…

My wife, feeling as though she has abused our son by letting him wash his hair with shampoo that burned his eyes, returns home from the store with six (I am not joking, six) bottles of kid-friendly shampoo. She marches my son back up to the shower (forget the modesty issue, she’s past that) and hands him the first bottle. It too burns his eyes.

To make a long story somewhat short, all of the kid-friendly shampoo my wife brought home and tested over the next few days burned my sons eyes. My wife was at wits end – and then she heard these words:

“Mommy, maybe if you buy me the shampoo on television it won’t burn my eyes. The one in the really cool bottle.”

And my wife’s IQ finally starts to kick in.

Enter Daughter

Now, we have a 6-year-old daughter at home too. A daughter, who over the next week got to test six different kid-friendly shampoo brands. None of which burned her eyes. My 12-year-old did the same thing. All 6 kid-friendly shampoo brands were tear free (although my wife swears Johnson’s Baby Shampoo makes everyone’s hair look better), teaching us (and hopefully you) a valuable lesson.

A Word to the Wise

Sometimes our kids catch on that we buy them what they need – not necessarily what they want. Sometimes they play on this fact. If you want kid-friendly shampoo, any brand should do (just avoid the cheap, dollar-store brands if you can). If you want to avoid the master manipulators of the world, remember that sometimes they come in 8-year-old packages.